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Will |
![]() Post #1
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![]() Jinn ![]() Group: Members Posts: 9,725 Joined: September 13, 03 Member No.: 218 ![]() |
I open the thread regarding meds..."Do
you take them...?" And guess what? Rob22 says...I can't afford them. Yeah right. There are thousands of programs that could get you meds for free. This just highlights the problem: you. You point the finger at everything around you and declare it the cause of your misfortune, etc...but you're the one at blame. I see the medicine issue as encapsulating everything wrong with you: If you took 10 minutes to look around, to do some research...rather than wallowing, you'd find an out. You'd get them. But you never would. You're lazy. You have no ambition. You're content to sit here and occasionally swoop down and make some guerilla-esque style comment about your general misfortune, whether it be life, money, intelligence, happiness, looks, etc. Just shut up. If your life is so bad, do something about it. You made it bad. Not your family, not your home, not your parents - you. So many of your qualms are easily corrected if you'd just be willing to take personal responsibility. Take the initiative. And stop whining. If anyone here really traded places with you, they'd feel nothing but disgust when you crack out these woe is me rants. Because it is disgusting. Your life is as good as anyone else's here. |
Stephenct |
![]() Post #2
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![]() I gots mines...then I gets some mo ![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,498 Joined: July 16, 05 From: Waterbury, CT Member No.: 2,097 ![]() |
I like this thread. |
HurricaneJosh |
![]() Post #3
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![]() possessed hurricane chaser... iCyclone.com ![]() Group: Members Posts: 2,339 Joined: September 15, 05 From: Los Angeles, CA + Prague, CZ Member No.: 2,702 ![]() |
Will, I totally agree with your
message of personal responsibility and taking action-- but perhaps you are
being a tad harsh in your delivery. |
pazzo83 |
![]() Post #4
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,858 Joined: December 8, 03 From: Charlottesville, VA Member No.: 106 Weather Observations Temperature: 61 F (16
C)Wind is From the Variable at 5 MPH Humidity: 41% Pressure: 1007.9mb Conditions: Fair Jan 30, 11:53 am EST ![]() |
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VTmtngirl |
![]() Post #5
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![]() ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 10,070 Joined: January 24, 06 Member No.: 4,728 ![]() |
I agree Will, people must help
themselves, no one is going to do it for them. However, like Josh, your
message is a tad harsh. When people are genuinely and clinically
depressed, even the smallest of tasks can seem overwhelming, so I give him
a bit of a pass and a lot of encouragement to seek help. |
Will |
![]() Post #6
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![]() Jinn ![]() Group: Members Posts: 9,725 Joined: September 13, 03 Member No.: 218 ![]() |
The only reason anyone would ever feel
bad for you is because they empathize. The problem, though, is that when
they do this - they are projecting your problems on themselves and their
situation. But they're wrong. If they were in your situation, they'd almost certainly be fine. The specifics may appear similar on the surface, but the underlying psychological construct of the individual would be entirely different. I don't feel bad for you. No one should. |
dfuzz |
![]() Post #7
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![]() It's almost February ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 11,055 Joined: May 16, 04 From: Eureka, MO Member No.: 327 ![]() Overcast 43 F (6 C) Jan 30, 10:54 am CST ![]() |
If I was Rob, I would cross the border
at Tiajuana and medicate myself. Surgery could be an issue. |
Will |
![]() Post #8
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![]() Jinn ![]() Group: Members Posts: 9,725 Joined: September 13, 03 Member No.: 218 ![]() |
I agree Will, people must help themselves, no one is going to do it for them. However, like Josh, your message is a tad harsh. When people are genuinely and clinically depressed, even the smallest of tasks can seem overwhelming, so I give him a bit of a pass and a lot of encouragement to seek help. I was diagnosed with severe depression, via schizoaffective disorder. I've been hospitalized twice after suicide attempts. All told, I've spent over 6 weeks in a psychiatric hospital...3 weeks on suicide watch and over 20 hours in a quiet room...and the doctor suggested I be transferred to a long term facility. I was able to pull myself out of the lowest depthes. I learned coping mechanisms. I accepted responsibility for what went on... And though it was incredibly difficult...I managed to get out of it. I still have problems...but I've learned to cope with them and can control them. Perhaps this has hardened me towards others with similar issues, I don't know. |
allman15 |
![]() Post #9
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![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 5,911 Joined: August 31, 04 From: Philadelphia Pennsylvania Member No.: 597 ![]() |
I open the thread regarding meds..."Do you take them...?" And guess what? Rob22 says...I can't afford them. Yeah right. There are thousands of programs that could get you meds for free. This just highlights the problem: you. You point the finger at everything around you and declare it the cause of your misfortune, etc...but you're the one at blame. I see the medicine issue as encapsulating everything wrong with you: If you took 10 minutes to look around, to do some research...rather than wallowing, you'd find an out. You'd get them. But you never would. You're lazy. You have no ambition. You're content to sit here and occasionally swoop down and make some guerilla-esque style comment about your general misfortune, whether it be life, money, intelligence, happiness, looks, etc. Just shut up. If your life is so bad, do something about it. You made it bad. Not your family, not your home, not your parents - you. So many of your qualms are easily corrected if you'd just be willing to take personal responsibility. Take the initiative. And stop whining. If anyone here really traded places with you, they'd feel nothing but disgust when you crack out these woe is me rants. Because it is disgusting. Your life is as good as anyone else's here. I am sure this post will cheer Rob up.......ROBS life however is NOT as good as MINE |
VTmtngirl |
![]() Post #10
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![]() ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 10,070 Joined: January 24, 06 Member No.: 4,728 ![]() |
The only reason anyone would ever feel bad for you is because they empathize. The problem, though, is that when they do this - they are projecting your problems on themselves and their situation. But they're wrong. If they were in your situation, they'd almost certainly be fine. The specifics may appear similar on the surface, but the underlying psychological construct of the individual would be entirely different. I don't feel bad for you. No one should. I believe he is working himself up to actually taking action. This sometimes takes a lot of courage when one has been beaten down far enough and is so completely negative. I agree, empathy isn't the answer. However, a kinder discourse in taking those first steps would be more helpful. Pointing out faulty thinking/logic in relationship to his problems is helpful if it is constructive. That being said, his will be a self-fulfillling prophecy if he does not take the advice of people here. |
isawitonline |
![]() Post #11
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![]() This space for rent... ![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,981 Joined: July 26, 05 From: Royersford, PA Member No.: 2,130 ![]() Fog 42 F (6 C) Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
Will is not exactly world renowned for sugar coating how he feels about people. Yep...he's brutally honest (at least in his perspective of the situation). some of us here have given Rob some advice with regard to a few things but it's up to him to decide if he can act on it. We can talk to him and give him advise on things but our advice is futile until rob acts on it one way or the other. |
pazzo83 |
![]() Post #12
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,858 Joined: December 8, 03 From: Charlottesville, VA Member No.: 106 Weather Observations Temperature: 61 F (16
C)Wind is From the Variable at 5 MPH Humidity: 41% Pressure: 1007.9mb Conditions: Fair Jan 30, 11:53 am EST ![]() |
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HurricaneJosh |
![]() Post #13
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![]() possessed hurricane chaser... iCyclone.com ![]() Group: Members Posts: 2,339 Joined: September 15, 05 From: Los Angeles, CA + Prague, CZ Member No.: 2,702 ![]() |
I believe he is working himself up to actually taking action. This sometimes takes a lot of courage when one has been beaten down far enough and is so completely negative. I agree, empathy isn't the answer. However, a kinder discourse in taking those first steps would be more helpful. Pointing out faulty thinking/logic in relationship to his problems is helpful if it is constructive. That being said, his will be a self-fulfillling prophecy if he does not take the advice of people here. I think the fact that he posts so much about these issues is a maybe a positive thing-- like a first step, perhaps. But like you and Will point out, at some point, the thinking needs to convert to action, decisive steps, and so on. |
VTmtngirl |
![]() Post #14
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![]() ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 10,070 Joined: January 24, 06 Member No.: 4,728 ![]() |
I was diagnosed with severe depression, via schizoaffective disorder. I've been hospitalized twice after suicide attempts. All told, I've spent over 6 weeks in a psychiatric hospital...3 weeks on suicide watch and over 20 hours in a quiet room...and the doctor suggested I be transferred to a long term facility. I was able to pull myself out of the lowest depthes. I learned coping mechanisms. I accepted responsibility for what went on... And though it was incredibly difficult...I managed to get out of it. I still have problems...but I've learned to cope with them and can control them. Perhaps this has hardened me towards others with similar issues, I don't know. This is a mistake a lot of people make, they project themselves and their experience on others expecting they should be able to react in a similar fashion. It isn't fair not only to the person you are projecting on to but not fair to yourself and in how you judge others. |
Will |
![]() Post #15
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![]() Jinn ![]() Group: Members Posts: 9,725 Joined: September 13, 03 Member No.: 218 ![]() |
I believe he is working himself up to actually taking action. This sometimes takes a lot of courage when one has been beaten down far enough and is so completely negative. I agree, empathy isn't the answer. However, a kinder discourse in taking those first steps would be more helpful. Pointing out faulty thinking/logic in relationship to his problems is helpful if it is constructive. That being said, his will be a self-fulfillling prophecy if he does not take the advice of people here. When you're depressed, thinking something and doing them are impossibly different. As long as his actions continue to be that of woe is me whining, he'll stay where he is and never move forward. This is how he has been since I've known him - 5 years. |
allman15 |
![]() Post #16
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![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 5,911 Joined: August 31, 04 From: Philadelphia Pennsylvania Member No.: 597 ![]() |
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pazzo83 |
![]() Post #17
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,858 Joined: December 8, 03 From: Charlottesville, VA Member No.: 106 Weather Observations Temperature: 61 F (16
C)Wind is From the Variable at 5 MPH Humidity: 41% Pressure: 1007.9mb Conditions: Fair Jan 30, 11:53 am EST ![]() |
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HurricaneJosh |
![]() Post #18
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![]() possessed hurricane chaser... iCyclone.com ![]() Group: Members Posts: 2,339 Joined: September 15, 05 From: Los Angeles, CA + Prague, CZ Member No.: 2,702 ![]() |
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isawitonline |
![]() Post #19
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![]() This space for rent... ![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,981 Joined: July 26, 05 From: Royersford, PA Member No.: 2,130 ![]() Fog 42 F (6 C) Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
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pazzo83 |
![]() Post #20
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,858 Joined: December 8, 03 From: Charlottesville, VA Member No.: 106 Weather Observations Temperature: 61 F (16
C)Wind is From the Variable at 5 MPH Humidity: 41% Pressure: 1007.9mb Conditions: Fair Jan 30, 11:53 am EST ![]() |
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Will |
![]() Post #21
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![]() Jinn ![]() Group: Members Posts: 9,725 Joined: September 13, 03 Member No.: 218 ![]() |
This is a mistake a lot of people make, they project themselves and their experience on others expecting they should be able to react in a similar fashion. It isn't fair not only to the person you are projecting on to but not fair to yourself and in how you judge others. I'm aware of this. And I account for it...otherwise I'd say the same thing to the rest of the world. However, I don't, nor do I fail to feel empathy with most others. I say it to Rob, tho, because, in my opinion, he needs to hear it. |
VTmtngirl |
![]() Post #22
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![]() ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 10,070 Joined: January 24, 06 Member No.: 4,728 ![]() |
When you're depressed, thinking something and doing them are impossibly different. As long as his actions continue to be that of woe is me whining, he'll stay where he is and never move forward. This is how he has been since I've known him - 5 years. Thats why I think talking it out with him is good. Obviously he needs the care of a professional here but hasn't been able to do that. If he sees that his approach is incorrect and that there are indeed steps he can take, then perhaps he will work up to it. The very fact this has been going on so long means that he is quite challenged in breaking this pattern. Tougher language is a good approach if it is metered with supportive measures as well. Oh btw, Hi Will ![]() |
yhbrooklyn |
![]() Post #23
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![]() Notorious J.E.W. ![]() Group: Members Posts: 12,619 Joined: December 14, 04 From: Brooklyn, NY Member No.: 920 ![]() Fair 54 F (12 C) Jan 30, 9:51 am EST Warn: (0%) ![]() ![]() |
I think Will should do one of those
"I'll tell you what I think of you in this thread" threads. The results should be educational. |
MebaneWeatherNet |
![]() Post #24
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![]() What are we going to do tonight, Brain??? ![]() Group: Members Posts: 8,027 Joined: January 15, 05 From: Mebane, NC Member No.: 1,150 Weather Observations Temperature: 51 F (11
C)Wind is From the West at 6 MPH Humidity: 100% Pressure: 1010.4mb Conditions: Fog/Mist Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
Thats why I think talking it out with him is good. Obviously he needs the care of a professional here but hasn't been able to do that. If he sees that his approach is incorrect and that there are indeed steps he can take, then perhaps he will work up to it. The very fact this has been going on so long means that he is quite challenged in breaking this pattern. Tougher language is a good approach if it is metered with supportive measures as well. Oh btw, Hi Will ![]() This thread should be deleted... Even if he is an "attention whore" about his depression he is a HUMAN BEING... Being called a whiny *** may push him over the edge if he is this depressed. WTF people??? EDIT, in fact I really do not care, I figured I would give y'all a little grief... |
allman15 |
![]() Post #25
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![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 5,911 Joined: August 31, 04 From: Philadelphia Pennsylvania Member No.: 597 ![]() |
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MebaneWeatherNet |
![]() Post #26
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![]() What are we going to do tonight, Brain??? ![]() Group: Members Posts: 8,027 Joined: January 15, 05 From: Mebane, NC Member No.: 1,150 Weather Observations Temperature: 51 F (11
C)Wind is From the West at 6 MPH Humidity: 100% Pressure: 1010.4mb Conditions: Fog/Mist Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
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yhbrooklyn |
![]() Post #27
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![]() Notorious J.E.W. ![]() Group: Members Posts: 12,619 Joined: December 14, 04 From: Brooklyn, NY Member No.: 920 ![]() Fair 54 F (12 C) Jan 30, 9:51 am EST Warn: (0%) ![]() ![]() |
This thread should be deleted... Even if he is an "attention whore" about his depression he is a HUMAN BEING... Being called a whiny *** may push him over the edge if he is this depressed. WTF people??? I doubt Rob would get pushed over the egde. He's known these people for years. |
dfuzz |
![]() Post #28
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![]() It's almost February ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 11,055 Joined: May 16, 04 From: Eureka, MO Member No.: 327 ![]() Overcast 43 F (6 C) Jan 30, 10:54 am CST ![]() |
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pazzo83 |
![]() Post #29
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,858 Joined: December 8, 03 From: Charlottesville, VA Member No.: 106 Weather Observations Temperature: 61 F (16
C)Wind is From the Variable at 5 MPH Humidity: 41% Pressure: 1007.9mb Conditions: Fair Jan 30, 11:53 am EST ![]() |
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HurricaneJosh |
![]() Post #30
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![]() possessed hurricane chaser... iCyclone.com ![]() Group: Members Posts: 2,339 Joined: September 15, 05 From: Los Angeles, CA + Prague, CZ Member No.: 2,702 ![]() |
I have a lot of sympathy for him,
because I remember being a very down 22-year-old. But if he has been in
this mode for years now-- as Will says-- then it's time for him to get a
new attitude and start a new chapter. |
MdWx |
![]() Post #31
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 15,704 Joined: May 12, 04 From: Belcamp, Maryland Member No.: 316 ![]() Fog/Mist 46 F (8 C) Jan 30, 11:45 am EST ![]() |
Rob is a good kid.. Not sure of his
exact age but he'll learn as he gets older.. You have to work to get
anywhere in life, it won't just fall in your lap unless you were born into
a rich family with a silver spoon. |
yhbrooklyn |
![]() Post #32
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![]() Notorious J.E.W. ![]() Group: Members Posts: 12,619 Joined: December 14, 04 From: Brooklyn, NY Member No.: 920 ![]() Fair 54 F (12 C) Jan 30, 9:51 am EST Warn: (0%) ![]() ![]() |
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allman15 |
![]() Post #33
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![]() ![]() Group: Members Posts: 5,911 Joined: August 31, 04 From: Philadelphia Pennsylvania Member No.: 597 ![]() |
Rob is doing fine....I saw him in NE.
Philly wearing a sign that says ROB22..want to buy a pencil...he has
potential to work into SHOE SALES. |
MdWx |
![]() Post #34
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 15,704 Joined: May 12, 04 From: Belcamp, Maryland Member No.: 316 ![]() Fog/Mist 46 F (8 C) Jan 30, 11:45 am EST ![]() |
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VTmtngirl |
![]() Post #35
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![]() ![]() Group: Super Moderators Posts: 10,070 Joined: January 24, 06 Member No.: 4,728 ![]() |
I wouldn't want to relive my 20s for
anything. Its a hard time in life and I suffered from very bad depression
myself especially after the loss of my grandmother. Its a stressful time because it is when people try to make their way in life and set goals. Sometimes those dreams are dashed, that is also extremely difficult, then they buy into the idea they are losers. Then add onto all that raging hormones, etc., lack of wealth (most people don't have money in their 20s) and trying to build relationships, it can be overwhelming. But it is never hopeless, not at that age and once it is learned that a failure or a problem can be overcome, things become easier. |
MdWx |
![]() Post #36
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![]() Group: Members Posts: 15,704 Joined: May 12, 04 From: Belcamp, Maryland Member No.: 316 ![]() Fog/Mist 46 F (8 C) Jan 30, 11:45 am EST ![]() |
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yhbrooklyn |
![]() Post #37
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![]() Notorious J.E.W. ![]() Group: Members Posts: 12,619 Joined: December 14, 04 From: Brooklyn, NY Member No.: 920 ![]() Fair 54 F (12 C) Jan 30, 9:51 am EST Warn: (0%) ![]() ![]() |
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isawitonline |
![]() Post #38
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![]() This space for rent... ![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,981 Joined: July 26, 05 From: Royersford, PA Member No.: 2,130 ![]() Fog 42 F (6 C) Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
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isawitonline |
![]() Post #39
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![]() This space for rent... ![]() Group: Members Posts: 4,981 Joined: July 26, 05 From: Royersford, PA Member No.: 2,130 ![]() Fog 42 F (6 C) Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
I wouldn't want to relive my 20s for anything. Its a hard time in life and I suffered from very bad depression myself especially after the loss of my grandmother. Its a stressful time because it is when people try to make their way in life and set goals. Sometimes those dreams are dashed, that is also extremely difficult, then they buy into the idea they are losers. Then add onto all that raging hormones, etc., lack of wealth (most people don't have money in their 20s) and trying to build relationships, it can be overwhelming. But it is never hopeless, not at that age and once it is learned that a failure or a problem can be overcome, things become easier. It's a tougher time for some. It really depends on a ton of factors but you learn more from 22-29 about life and how things go in the world than you do from birth to 21, IMHO. |
MebaneWeatherNet |
![]() Post #40
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![]() What are we going to do tonight, Brain??? ![]() Group: Members Posts: 8,027 Joined: January 15, 05 From: Mebane, NC Member No.: 1,150 Weather Observations Temperature: 51 F (11
C)Wind is From the West at 6 MPH Humidity: 100% Pressure: 1010.4mb Conditions: Fog/Mist Jan 30, 8:54 am EST ![]() |
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Lo-Fi Version | ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Time is now: 30th January 2006 - 01:04 PM |