I knew today was going to be a very
difficult day. The first big storm of the winter, and I
would not have internet access to follow it, thanks to
my boss.
I tried to absorb as much info this morning as I could, but I knew there was still a spread on the models, so I HAD to sneak on at some point. I did have a couple of minutes to get on around noontime, but was interrupted shortly thereafter. (Fridays are unofficially "senior day" here in the store. Cranky, confused seniors. I sold a purifier to a lady that I would estimate was about 320 years old.)
Thereafter, my boss was parked in front of his computer. Doing official store business (craigslistny, erosny... you know... escort services. But I'm a dumbass and don't know this, so shhhh). I started to shake. My mind started failing me. I couldn't concentrate. It was at this point that I realized I was like a smack junkie. I needed my fix. My weather fix.
Of course, my boss asks me about the weather:
BOSS: How much snow are we going to get tomorrow?
ME: I don't know; I have no computer access!
BOSS: Well, what does the radio say?
ME:
(Yes, I literally muttered the word "axesmiley" under my breath)
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, my boss got up and went into the restroom. Normally this would be cause for panic and mass evacuations. But as my boss began playing "battleshits" in the commode, I saw my chance! I raced to his computer, minimized his smut... er, work window, and got online. There they were. Models. QPF charts. Pro met analyses. Immediately my shaking stopped, my eyes glassed over, and I felt a warmth and inner peace come over me. Okay, the warmth was from my boss' uranium deposit into the toilet bowl, but I didn't care. Despite the fact that my eyes were bleeding, and my respiratory tract was liquefying from the stench, I was filled with joy. While our hanging spider plant went into full grand mal seizure and defoliated, I was in utopia.
I got my fix.
I tried to absorb as much info this morning as I could, but I knew there was still a spread on the models, so I HAD to sneak on at some point. I did have a couple of minutes to get on around noontime, but was interrupted shortly thereafter. (Fridays are unofficially "senior day" here in the store. Cranky, confused seniors. I sold a purifier to a lady that I would estimate was about 320 years old.)
Thereafter, my boss was parked in front of his computer. Doing official store business (craigslistny, erosny... you know... escort services. But I'm a dumbass and don't know this, so shhhh). I started to shake. My mind started failing me. I couldn't concentrate. It was at this point that I realized I was like a smack junkie. I needed my fix. My weather fix.
Of course, my boss asks me about the weather:
BOSS: How much snow are we going to get tomorrow?
ME: I don't know; I have no computer access!
BOSS: Well, what does the radio say?
ME:
(Yes, I literally muttered the word "axesmiley" under my breath)
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, my boss got up and went into the restroom. Normally this would be cause for panic and mass evacuations. But as my boss began playing "battleshits" in the commode, I saw my chance! I raced to his computer, minimized his smut... er, work window, and got online. There they were. Models. QPF charts. Pro met analyses. Immediately my shaking stopped, my eyes glassed over, and I felt a warmth and inner peace come over me. Okay, the warmth was from my boss' uranium deposit into the toilet bowl, but I didn't care. Despite the fact that my eyes were bleeding, and my respiratory tract was liquefying from the stench, I was filled with joy. While our hanging spider plant went into full grand mal seizure and defoliated, I was in utopia.
I got my fix.