My New Kitten... and the
Courtesy "Morning Tug"
Our house has undergone a cat exodus
in the past few months. Three cats (all in their teens)
passed away, and a fourth was given up since he couldn't
stop from peeing on the stove. This left us with 2 cats,
so on my son's birthday, we adopted a new kitten. A
playful, cuddly klutz we named Spazz.
This morning, I woke up with a bladder in danger of
bursting, so I made my way to the bathroom, with Spazz
attacking my ankles the whole way. I made my way to the
toilet, dropped my pants, and prepared to relieve
thyself.
Now, one thing guys need to do in the morning is a
"courtesy tug", to stretch out the guy from the sleep
position, and also to clear any stray hairs out of the
way. Well, this morning, with Spazz sitting next to me,
I failed to perform this act.
So, as I started to let fly, I expected one strong
stream. Instead, I got 5 streams, none of which were
anywhere near the toilet. It was pretty much like
turning on a garden hose, with your thumb over the
nozzle. One hit near the window. Three others ended up
near the vicinity of the sink. And the fifth...
Spazz.
Poor, poor Spazz.
Spazz scrambled out of the bathroom, running into the
door before escaping the scene. After cleaning up the
errant firings, I checked on Spazz. I found him in the
corner of the kitchen, furiously wiping off the foulness
from his forehead and ear. He looked up at me, looking
pitiful, as if to say "WHY RICH? I ACT ALL CUTE AND
CUDDLY FOR YOU, AND YOU PAY ME BACK BY WHIZZING ON MY
FOREHEAD! WHYYYYYY!!!"
Epilogue:
After showering, I returned to the bedroom, where my
wife was still sleeping. Spazz followed, jumped onto the
bed, and proceeded to jump on my wife and rub his head
on her nose. I don't think my wife understood why I left
chortling to myself, and I don't believe I will share
this little anecdote with her either.